Remix: Motherhood Tribe Series

May is the month of spring blossoming, we see dormant floral's bud, birds return from their southern hideouts. The green tapestry of our neighborhood creates a backdrop of rebirth after winter for most of us across the northern hemisphere. We also celebrate mothers during the month of May. I think the time is fitting. Motherhood is about rebirth in the same way that spring is. The arrival of a new child marks a beginning in a new phase of life, a new construction of family, new demands on you and those around you.

According to many sources Mother's Day was established by Anna Jarvis and became an official US Holiday in 1914. This symbolizes the impact of just one woman who felt it was important that mothers be acknowledged for their hard work and sacrifice. I was a history major in undergrad, so my love for fun historical facts runs deep. Mother’s Day has evolved in to many things depending on your perspective. Some see it as a pinnacle of commercialism, whereas others an important date of recognition, a time for respite for the underappreciated mothers of the world. However you view it, I think we can all agree that motherhood deserves to be celebrated in some form of fashion at some point.

This month, I want to do something different as we celebrate motherhood. We talk often about finding a tribe, people who are like minded and understand your journey, and lift each other up. All mothers need a tribe. One would think our shared journey no matter our background would make it easy for us to relate on some basic principles. Most mothers love their children, seek to raise productive happy well balanced individuals, want great success at the important task of motherhood. Where we differ is in how we reach that goal. Perhaps that is the root of where our division comes.

I have witnessed and experienced quite a bit of mom shaming, judgement, hurtful comments based on our different approaches to achieve the same end as mothers. If you have ever had someone give you unsolicited advice for example about danger of feeding your child a happy meal on a busy weeknight after a long day of meetings, you know how much this judgement from other mothers hurts. Perhaps you have had another mother make you feel like a failure as she admonishes you for giving your child formula instead of nursing. This is the stuff that hurts, it cuts deep. These lines in the sand drive wedges in the common sisterhood of mothers. We must stop this. Unsolicited advice is usually not helpful. Judgement does not impact change, and usually makes the individual feel broken. There are more constructive ways to inform and encourage women to consider other options for their children. Lastly, sometimes we need to remember we may not need to be the messenger for every issue. Think first "how I would receive this feedback stated this way".

This month I want to emphasize the shared experiences of the tribe of mothers. We will spend this month, the spring of rebirth, on social media highlighting women of various perspectives who are juggling life and motherhood. I want to celebrate how our unique stories make the tapestry of motherhood so great. Rather than shaming each other, passing judgement, let’s learn from each other. Let's celebrate our differences, our unique style, our individual choices, and the common love we have for our children.

Be blessed,

The Mommy Doc